Sinful Thirst, Bleeding Hearts
by Twin Shadows
Summary: My 1st One-shot! (AU) Ichigo has discovered an even more terrifying secret about himself: he's part vampire and he has to constantly find alternatives to satisfy his newfound thirst. But the scent of Rukia's blood has been tempting him and one night, after cleansing a hollow, the levee breaks. Will Rukia accept him or will his own self-loathing cut the rose before it blossoms?


_****__I deeply apologize to everyone for this exasperatingly long period of no writing. So, to make up for it, here's my 1st one-shot. It was originally a collaboration with another author, but he/she gave it to me. Also, this is my 1st time writing romance so I ask that if you're going to write reviews about it, let it be so I can improve and not just because I've been in absentia. Happy(belated) Independence Day!_

_**Disclaimer: I don't claim **__**ownership to Bleach in any way, shape, or form.**_

Title: Sinful Thirst, Bleeding Hearts

Rating: T

Summary: (AU) Ichigo has discovered an even more terrifying secret about himself: he's part vampire and he has to constantly find alternatives to satisfy his newfound thirst. But the scent of Rukia's blood has been tempting him and one night, after cleansing a hollow, the levee breaks. Will Rukia accept him, despite his new flaw, or will his own self-loathing cut the rose before it blossoms?

* * *

"Hey Yuzu, do ya know where we keep the tomato juice?" Ichigo called out as he searched the refrigerator. His younger sister looked over at him in confusion.

"It should be behind the leftover rice from yesterday," she answered sweetly. Locating his target, Ichigo pulled the container out before plopping it on the counter next to the empty bottle he had placed there before he started searching. Placing a funnel into the mouth of the bottle, he poured the juice into the bottle before screwing the cap on tightly before moving over to eat breakfast, bringing the bottle along.

"Since when are you interested in drinking that stuff, bro?" Karin inquired, raising an eyebrow lazily.

"I figured I needed some more fruits and vegetables in my diet," he answered with a shrug. "What's so suspicious about that?" He should've seen the next part coming, considering Isshin's kick was in his peripheral vision.

"The fact that most teenage boys aren't concerned with something as useless as diet and are more focused on dating and girls!" Isshin hollered triumphantly before acting indignantly at the twitching younger Kurosaki male on the floor. "Which isn't gonna happen the way you just let random people attack you and make you look like a wimp!"

At this, Isshin pulled an otherwise unsuspecting Rukia into his embrace. "How are you going to protect Rukia, my sweet third daughter, from thugs and vandals when you can't even stop your own father's weakest kick!"

'Sweet my ass,' Ichigo thought as he hopped up and grabbed the back of his father's head and slammed it against the tabletop, leaving a red mark on the forehead and a slight dent in the wood. "Come on, Rukia, we're going to be late," he spoke aloud, pulling the shorter girl by the arm before making a U-turn and swiping his bottle of tomato juice.

"Have a good day, everyone," Rukia called back, using her 'innocent schoolgirl' voice as she grabbed Ichigo's and her schoolbags before the duo went out the door. As they walked, she dropped her act and turned to her partner. "Okay Ichigo, start explaining yourself." He just turned to stare at her with confusion.

"You're gonna have to be a bit more specific, Midget," he replied coolly, for which he was rewarded with a jab to his side. "Violent squirt," he muttered angrily.

"Let's start with your new choice in foods," she continued, eyeing the red liquid in Ichigo's hand. "You've been drinking more of these weird, red drinks like that to the point where you've replaced it with your need for water."

"It's not that bad-" but Rukia wasn't going to let him get in a voice until she finished her piece.

"Not only that, but you look like you haven't slept for a month and could collapse at any moment. Do you have _any_ idea how worried that makes me- I mean us, your friends, especially since you've started avoiding me- uh, us, like we have the plague!"

Inside, Rukia was hoping that Ichigo hadn't noticed her stumbled words from her lecture. Somehow, beyond her control, Rukia's personal feelings for the vibrant-haired youth had been developing past friendship and into more romantic feelings. However, she couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not only could it wreck the relationship they already had, but she didn't think her heart could take the rejection if he didn't feel the same way about her.

Ichigo sighed, holding up his hands in defeat. "You're right, okay? I admit it, I…I haven't been getting enough sleep, you know from nightmares." Hearing this, Rukia's expression softened to worry.

"Is it…is it because of your hollow?" she asked quietly, fearing the answer. Ichigo didn't respond immediately. He wanted to tell her, to explain what was tearing at the back of his mind. But he couldn't; he was afraid that if he got any closer to her, he would lose whatever control on his thirst he had and attack her. What's more, he didn't want to face the chance that she might come to only see him as a monster. So he decided to push the truth aside and say something to make her feel better.

"No, it's uh… it's more embarrassing than anything; you see, I was actually having a nightmare about Chappy," he stated, thinking on his feet. This caught Rukia off guard.

"How can you even have a nightmare about cute, cuddly Chappy?" she asked incredulously, as if Ichigo had just said hollows made perfect pets.

"Well, in my dream, your Chappy gikongon is in your gigai and she's messing around with my arm," he started, feeling his confidence rising.

_/Fake dream sequence…/_

_ "Ha ha ha ha ha ha," Chappy giggled excitedly as she yanked and twisted Ichigo's right arm, making the boy scream in pain; all while she sat on his back. "This is fun!"_

_ "This is only fun for one of us!" Ichigo yelled angrily. He then cried in pain as he felt his wrist being twisted violently before, surprisingly, she let go of his arm and got off of his back. Sighing in relief, Ichigo thought he was safe; that thought was gone in the next instant._

_ "Okay, then we play a new game!" Turning over to look, a cold sweat running down the back of his neck, Ichigo saw that Chappy was wearing a blindfold over her eyes, Sode no Shirayuki in her right hand. "It's called, 'Stick the zanpakuto in the strawberry'! And I'm gonna go first."_

_ "Wh-what the hell?!" Ichigo yelled, freaked out of his mind, before noticing that he was now wearing a strawberry costume. "What is this?! You-you keep away from me, you damn rabbit girl!" His screams were getting desperate as Chappy came closer, swinging her zanpakuto around aimlessly._

_ "That's mean!" Chappy pouted. "And stop talking; it wouldn't be fair if I know where you are." With that, she lifted the blade above her head…which was aimed at his own!_

_ "NO WAIT STOP!" Ichigo screamed in vain as the edge came to contact with the bridge of his nose…_

_ /…End fake dream sequence /_

"And at that point, I wake up," Ichigo finished, mentally crossing his fingers that Rukia will believe him. At first, she just stood there blinking at him. Then, the corners of her mouth started to twitch. 'Oh boy, here it comes,' he thought dreadfully. True to his thoughts, Rukia burst out laughing, clutching her sides as she gasped for air.

"HAHAHAHA… you-you're so scared of Chappy decapitating you in a strawberry suit?" she managed to say, looking up at him. Secretly, she knew that what Ichigo had told her wasn't true, but at least she was content that he seemed to be back to his normal scowling self. Getting a grip on herself, she straightened up and went on to her second question. "So, mind explaining your newly acquired taste in beverages?"

"My Dad's a doctor, no matter how stupid he acts. So, I figured that maybe I should take care of myself and start eating more fruits and vegetables. You know what they say: you've got nothing if you don't have your health."

"Well, I'd love to help you with your new quest Ichigo," Rukia paused long enough to pull a strawberry out of her pocket and wave it teasingly in front of his face with a playful smirk on her face. "But all I've got is this strawberry, and as your friend, I would hate to turn you into a cannibal." Ichigo just swiped the little red fruit out of her hand and placed it between his teeth.

"I'll take that chance," he mumbled through the fruit as he bit down and started sucking the bitter juice into his mouth.

"Well, hurry up," she threw over her shoulder as she broke into a jog. "We can't have you missing class when there aren't any hollow around, right?" Ichigo jerked his head in acknowledgment before moved quickly, being sure to discreetly toss the dried up fruit into a nearby trashcan.

'Sorry, Rukia,' he thought dismally, using his tongue to feel the backs his new fangs. 'But until this gnawing thirst is under control, I can't tell you what's really going on with me…not that I understand it any more than you do.' That thought made him go back to when he first realized that he was something beyond a vizard, that he was actually part vampire…

* * *

It started a few weeks ago. Ichigo had woken up one morning with a headache throbbing dully, but since he was up later than normal with Rukia hunting hollows the previous night, he had dismissed it to be the result of not getting enough sleep. Problem was that, when it came to Ichigo Kurosaki, things were never that simple. As the first week went by, not only his headache started throbbing more and more harshly, but his eyes became more sensitive whenever he was outside and his skin's tanned look started to lessen.

But what got him to finally go seek help was when two things happened:

1. One night, he was brushing his teeth when he felt a sharp pain when he ran the brush across his teeth. Rinsing his mouth out with water, Ichigo opened his mouth to see that blood was coming from the roots of his top two canines.

"What the hell?" he muttered, pressing gently a finger to the left tooth. To his surprise and immense pain, the tooth snapped out of place and onto his tongue, which he promptly spat into the sink. Quickly, he covered his mouth to keep from the blood from showing and went to close the door. With that accomplished, he looked back into the mirror to see blood seeping through his fingers.

The next instant, Ichigo doubled over, groaning in pain as he felt an intense surge coming from his mouth, as though something was drilling into the roof of his mouth and into his gums. With a hacking cough, he saw his other tooth fall to the floor, blood dripping onto the linoleum; even then, the pain continued, giving Ichigo the feeling that something long and hard was pushing through his bloodied and throbbing gums. After a minute, it was reduced to a dull throbbing.

Grabbing onto the sink for stability, he slowly pulled himself to a hunched-over position over, gasping for air; as he did, he coughed up the blood that went down his throat into his hand, and dripped off the edge of the hand onto the counter. Looking into the mirror, Ichigo saw that the lower half of his face and the inside of his mouth were covered with his drying blood. Hastily, he turned on the faucet and washed of his face and re-rinsed his mouth before spitting out the water and double-checking his teeth in the mirror. The sight that greeted him shocked him to the core.

The spaces where his two teeth had fallen out of his mouth were now filled again with new teeth. But these new ones were slightly longer than his original ones and the ends seemed to be more pointed than they should have been. Slightly freaked, Ichigo gently tapped a finger to the point of his new fang twice before pulling it back to see a droplet of blood forming from the tip. Then he was knocked out of his thoughts by a rapping on the other side of the bathroom door.

'Oh hell,' he thought as he hurriedly grabbed both of the fallen teeth and threw them into the toilet.

"Ichigo, what're you doing in there?" Karin's voice came through the door. Moving around, he started grabbing wads of toilet paper before trying to mop up the spots of his blood that had fallen past the barrier of his hand.

"Uh, yeah," he called out, "Just-just having some stomach problems and-"

"I really don't need to know the details, bro. Just try to finish up quietly, right? The rest of us are trying to sleep." Leaning up against the door, Ichigo heard his sister's departing footsteps before putting his back to the door and sliding down to the floor, sighing in relief. Rubbing his forehead with the hand not holding the blood-soaked wad, he got up and tossed it into the bowl along with the teeth before flushing away all the evidence.

'Oh God, this isn't a good sign,' he thought dreadfully, washing his hands for the third time in so many minutes and leaving the bathroom.

2. The next day, when Ichigo came down for breakfast, he found that something was off: he was able to smell everything around a lot better. So naturally, he was able to strike Isshin down when he popped out of his hiding spot in the closet by the stairs.

"Excellent…instincts…my son…"

"It's not instinct when your damn foot odor is like a smog cloud around here," Ichigo complained, rubbing the bridge of his nose to get rid of the headache forming from the terrible stench.

"Are you all right, Ichigo?" Yuzu asked concerned, leaning forward to put a hand to his forehead to check his temperature. "Maybe you should stay home today, just to be safe."

"Relax, Yuzu. You can't coddle him," Karin put in, sliding a bowl next to her brother as he sat next to her and across from Rukia; all while focusing on her own breakfast. "Ichigo's tough anyway; if he can handle the old goat's constant ambushes, something like a headache shouldn't be able to keep him down." But her twin was still unconvinced; worry clear in her eyes as she looked at her brother.

"Don't worry, Yuzu. I'll keep a close watch on your brother, so if he needs help, I'll be there to take care of him," Rukia reassured, using her "innocent school girl" act as she smiled sweetly at the young, blonde girl. Looking over at the short dark-haired Soul Reaper, Ichigo was hit with a sudden thirst, a powerful longing to reach across the table and sink his fangs into her creamy neck…

'Oh crap; I gotta get outta here!' he thought, panicking. Ichigo got up hurriedly, startling the others at the table with his fast pace. "Sorry, guys. I need to get to school early today; my turn for clean-up duty," he called out over his shoulder as he grabbed his schoolbag, hopping over his Dad's sliding tackle and out the door.

"But you haven't had your breakfast yet, Ichigo!" Yuzu yelled, waving her ladle in a vain attempt to get his attention. Her twin, however, was not as concerned as she reached over and pulled the food her older sibling had abandoned to eat herself. "Karin!"

"What? If Ichigo isn't gonna eat it, I'm not gonna waste it."

* * *

'It makes me sick how much I wanted to drink Rukia's blood, or how much I still want to,' Ichigo thought bitterly, walking back from school alongside said-temptation, scowl more pronounced than usual. When he ran out that day, he headed straight to Urahara's shop to get some help. There, he had gotten some advice on what everyday substances he could use to substitute for the real deal.

Naturally, there were times when his thirst had reached the breaking point; for those times, he went for the only supply of blood he didn't mind drinking: his own. But he had to be careful when that happened. With his family in the rest of the house and Rukia spending her time between hollow hunts in his room, Ichigo had to either use the bathroom or leave the house and do the deed somewhere where he couldn't be seen by other people.

The duo sounds of his substitute license and Rukia's phone snapped him out of his thoughts, alerting the two to an impending hollow attack.

"Let's move Ichigo," Rukia commanded, sprinting off towards the battlefield. Ichigo fell into a run to catch up to her, worry gripping tightly at his heart as her scent became stronger, recalling Urahara's warning from before…

* * *

_"To tell you the truth Ichigo, I'm sort of out of my element here," Urahara called over from his seat in front of the microscope, peering at the blood sample Ichigo provided for him. "I may be a scientist, but my focus of interest is in inventions and research, not biology or hematology." Because his eyes were pointed down, he missed the hard glare Ichigo sent his way._

_ "Then what the hell is happening to me, Kisuke?" he asked angrily, rubbing the bandage that was placed over where the needle had drawn his blood. "I've got two fangs in my mouth and I wanted to bite Rukia's neck and drain her blood!"_

_ "Oh that's easy to answer," Urahara said calmly, looking over at the irritated orange-haired young man. "You're turning into a vampire." He matched Ichigo's stunned look with one of mild surprise. "Why do you look so shocked? Personally, I thought the fangs and the bloodlust gave it away."_

_ "Bu-but vampires don't exist; they're not real!"_

_ "So says the high school boy who hunts evil spirits in his spare time with his friends, some of which are over 100 years older than him." The high schooler's glare intensified at the shopkeeper's wide grin hidden behind the fan._

_ "Well, this is just wonderful news. So, there's nothing you can do to help me stop myself from making Rukia into my new queen of the Undead?" Urahara held up a finger to bring the boy's attention back to him._

_ "Firstly, Rukia is already dead; ergo it's impossible to make her an Undead anything," he started, lifting more fingers up as he continued talking, "Secondly, your body is still that of a living human's; it just needs to consume blood from time-to-time to function normally; and thirdly, you can easily find any number of substitutes for your thirst; you can even drink animal blood if you need it."_

_ "So, in lieu of turning Rukia into a blood-sucker, we'll be overrun by vampiric pets because of me; you're right, that's _so _much better," Ichigo stated sarcastically._

_ "You won't turn anyone into a vampire by biting them for blood," Urahara wave off reassuringly before gesturing towards the microscope. "See for yourself if you don't believe me." Getting up from his cross-legged position, Ichigo went over to look into the lens._

_ It was strange to see his own blood cells this close from an ordinary microscope. 'Then again, it does belong to Kisuke, so naturally he's probably made it into a high-tech device without making it look different,' he thought as he observed his red blood cells swam around along with a strange new cell he'd never seen before: it was spherical, purple, and looked like it was in the process of division. Looking up, he turned to look at the kooky scientist. "Okay, so I see these weird purple things in my blood; so if I bite someone, then these 'vampire cells' go into them, right?"_

_ Urahara chuckled as he replaced the sample slide in the microscope with another one. "This slide shows a sample of your saliva, which you so kindly provided for me when you came here, screaming so frantically you accidentally splattered my handsome face with it."_

_-BAM!-_

_ "Your face isn't as handsome as you like to believe, so just give it a rest," Ichigo grumbled as he looked into the new sample, ignoring the groaning shopkeeper cradling his bleeding nose. While he scanned the spit he accidentally gave to Urahara, the new vampire's eyes widened in surprise. "That…that cell in my blood…"_

_ "It's not there, am I right?" Turning to look, he saw that the scruffy-faced blond had surprisingly recovered from the broken nose and was smirking knowingly. "So that would mean that the only way to turn another human, or a Soul Reaper for that matter, would be by blood-to-blood contact from you to them; so you can bite them as much as you want to and they'll just have a literal pain in their neck."_

_ "Cut the crap, Kisuke," Ichigo growled, "Just tell me what I can use as a substitute for the blood already!"_

_ "Sheesh! You could at least say 'thank you' once in a while," And here, Urahara pulled out his fan and started waving himself with it. "So I guess if you don't start being a little more polite, I'll just have to keep that little bit of information to myself." He smirked to himself as he saw the carrot-top struggle to keep himself in check and make things worse._

_ "FINE! PLEASE!"_

_ "That's better, thank you. Now, I'm going to be studying your blood, specifically this special vampire cell, so that I'll be able to produce a blood pill that will satisfy your body's new needs," Urahara explained. "In the meantime, keep liquids handy with you that replicate the consistency of blood, such as tomato juice, fruits with pulp, even water-downed ketchup if you need it."_

_ "Got it thanks," Ichigo nodded, getting up and walking towards the door. "Let me know when those pills are ready."_

_ "There is one last thing you should be wary of, Ichigo." This made him stop in his tracks to listen to the ex-captain. "Be on your guard when you go to fight hollows; you might have a harder time keeping your thirst in check." The young man looked back to stare at Urahara._

_"Why? What do you think the hollows will do to me?" Urahara gazed at Ichigo before bowing his head, the shadow of his hat's brim obscuring his eyes form view._

_ "When a person is put into a stressful situation, their adrenal glands will kick in, sending more adrenaline to their system. When that happens, their senses become sharper to find danger, the reflexes will react faster so that the body can protect itself from harm, and most importantly, it makes the heart work harder and faster in order to produce more oxygen-rich blood so that the body will be able to continue functioning properly."_

_ "Are you saying that those cells in me would make me thirst for Rukia's blood even more?" Ichigo was beginning to get genuinely scared at this prospect._

_ "I suppose there's that, but I was referring to the fact that, if you and Rukia fight hollows together, it'll be _her_ blood that will increase. If that happens, and we again refer to the fact that it's her blood that your vampiric thirst desires, it could push you past the point of no return."_

* * *

"Ichigo!" Hearing his name, the secret vampire snapped out of his thoughts to see an irate Rukia looking back at him. "This is no time to be daydreaming! We have to be prepared for the hollow!"

"You don't have to remind me Rukia," he replied as pressed his badge to his chest, forcing his soul from his body, which proceeded to drop lifeless to the ground. Scoffing, his partner pulled out her bunny-topped gikongon container and popped one into her mouth to follow suit in separating from her gigai.

"Obviously I do, since you didn't bring Kon along _again_," she retorted, before turning to her overly cheery lookalike. "Chappy, take Ichigo's body and get out of sight."

"Okey-Dokey, Artichokey!" she sang, saluting the diminutive Soul Reaper before heaving the limp form over her shoulder.

"Hey! Don't do anything to me either, you got that?!" Ichigo added, the memories of her previous handlings of him vividly fresh in his head. Chappy in turn stuck her tongue out at the angry strawberry.

"You're not the boss of me! Nyah!" Before Ichigo could answer again, the three heard the howling cry of the hollow.

"Here it comes!" Rukia called out, drawing her zanpakuto in preparation. "Ichigo, get ready! Chappy, move out of the way!" Her substitute soul immediately reacted, running for cover as Ichigo reached for Zangetsu's hilt. They didn't have to wait long before the hollow appeared before them.

'I'll have to be careful,' Ichigo thought as he glanced over at Rukia, the scent of her blood becoming alarmingly strong. 'I don't want to stop the hollow just to kill Rukia myself.'

The hollow roared as it charged forward, claws extended and aching to rip into the flesh of the two Soul Reapers, who evaded them easily by splitting apart. The impact of hollow landing on the ground kicked up a thick cloud of dust, effectively dulling Ichigo and Rukia's vision.

"Rukia, where are you?"

"Don't worry about me, Ichigo," he heard her calling through the smog. "Just focus on getting that hollow before it gets someone else!" Ichigo couldn't help but roll his eyes as he ran towards the spot where the hollow landed. Even with her life (unknowingly) at risk, Rukia still found time to lecture him on how to fight hollows.

Seeing movement in his peripheral vision, Ichigo swung his zanpakuto to meet the hollow's claw, the long white cloth unraveling to reveal the silver edge of the gargantuan cleaver. The force of the blow pushed him backwards, but he was able to parry the attack before shifting his stance and charged forward, roaring a battle cry as he slashed downward on the beast before him. The hollow screamed in agony as the blade separated its mask before exiting its body through the left side.

"I got it, Rukia!" he called out as the dust settled, watching as the slain hollow disappeared before his eyes just in case it tried to make a final pass at him. When he said this, he had expected Rukia to walk over to him while she rolled her eyes, saying something like, "What do you want, a medal?" or "Stop acting like you've done something landmark worthy, idiot!", something along those lines which told him that she was all right. What he saw was a situation he didn't want to see.

Rukia was swinging her zanpakuto, deflating attacks from a hollow that the two of them hadn't expected to see. This one was shaped like a giant squid; with its mask's opening at a beak lined with teeth, the hole in the center of its head and eight tentacles tipped with spikes which were all being used to try to turn the female Soul Reaper into Swiss cheese.

'Damn it,' Ichigo thought, flash-stepping over to help. 'I got so focused on the first one, I didn't even see this guy.' Sliding to a halt, he was barely able to block a strike to Rukia's side, trying to keep his mind away from the alluring aroma her blood gave off. "Where'd this thing come from, Rukia?"

"It popped out when the first hollow attacked us," she explained exasperatedly, though whether it was from the obviousness of the situation or from having to fend off eight attacks for a long period of time Ichigo couldn't tell. "Apparently, it felt the other hollow and thought it would come here for a snack. When it saw us, it decided to trade up for a juicier meal and here we are." With a grunt, she finished up the story by evading the next tentacle and chopping down on it, sending the severed spiked end rolling away.

"So, I break the arms, you crack the mask?"

"Good, we have a plan. Now get to it!" Rolling his eyes at his "boss's" orders, Ichigo quickly threw up his zanpakuto across his body to catch the incoming lashing tentacle and shove it into the ground before moving to position it in front of his body. "Do you really need to use your bankai for a lowly hollow?"

"The sooner we beat this thing, the better right?" he griped, irritated that Rukia had to question his every move. 'Besides,' he thought bitterly, 'if I start to lose myself to my thirst, this way I can make sure to get as far away as I can before I hurt you.'

"Ban-kai!" With an eruption of swirling red and black energy, Ichigo's shihakusho transformed into his bankai robes with Zangetsu compressed into an all black katana with a broken chain on the end. "Tensa Zangetsu." The hollow, completely unimpressed with the new look, threw a tentacle at Ichigo who in turn vanished with an enhanced flash step, before reappearing above it and slashed down on the extended appendage. "Not done yet!" Twisting in midair, he swung his blade back towards the hollow's other limbs calling out, "Getsuga Tensho!" The resulting black, crescent-shaped energy carved its way through the rest of the tentacles, resulting in the pseudo-squid screaming and writhing in pain as blood fell from its stumps.

"Good job; now I'll wrap this up!" Rukia called out as she charged forward, her sword arm pulled back in preparation to strike. However, her haste Rukia didn't see that the hollow's stumps had regrown into a set of new tentacles and one was being used to throw her into a tree.

"Rukia!" Ichigo started to move to try and give his fallen friend aid when he was hit hard, though not by the hollow…

_Ba-bump…Ba-bump…Ba-bump…_ His heart was starting to throb so loudly, it pounded in his skull as his throat constricted, leaving Ichigo feeling as though he was dying of thirst with each breath he took.

'Wh-what's happening?!' he thought, grabbing his heart desperately while looking around for the cause until his eyes fell onto it: Rukia was struggling to get up, clutching her right shoulder which sported a new cut. 'Oh hell!' Before Ichigo could continue with his internal conflict, the screech of the hollow was the only warning before Ichigo got slammed into the ground by a tentacle before the end wrapped around his waist to chuck him through the treetops until he hit the trunk and started falling to the ground, breaking through the branches until he landed on the ground with a pained groan.

"Ichigo!" The sight of her comrade falling made Rukia force herself to pull herself upright, but the sight of the hollow making its way over to him with all the tentacles in its arsenal pulled back in preparation to deliver the finishing blow onto the young man she was fond of made her blind with rage. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!" As she turned her zanpakuto, the entire sword was drained of all color as a white ribbon extended from the end of her grip as ice crystals formed in the air around her. "Some no Mai: Tsukishiro!" Slashing at the ground, a large circle formed under the area of the hollow and Ichigo, a white light glowing as the ground started to freeze solid. While the hollow was distracted by the light under its many wiggling limbs, Rukia used her fastest flash step to reach Ichigo and get him out of the ring of frost as it erupted into a column of solid ice, encasing the hollow before the entire structure shattered, taking the hollow with it.

Seeing that the danger had passed, Rukia put Ichigo on the ground before stepping back enough to angrily kick his ribs, partially pleased when she heard him groaning in pain. "Alright, spill it, Ichigo! What the hell was that out there?! And I don't want to hear some half-assed excuse this time!"

"Get away from me, Rukia." The fall had only served to aggravate Ichigo's thirst, his struggle to keep his sanity was making his eyes go in and out of focus. If she didn't leave soon, he didn't know what he would end up doing to her.

"No! I'm not going to leave you when it's obvious that you need someone-"

"I said GET AWAY!" Realizing that there wasn't any alternative to get Rukia away to safety, he swung Zangetsu to send a voiceless Getsuga Tensho at her. His actions of hostility shocked her as she barely evaded being injured by the attack, rolling until she regained her footing, panting while the edge of her hakama sizzled slightly from the attack. When she looked around, Ichigo had disappeared.

'Why's he attacking me? And why did he run away?' she thought desperately, searching for her now-absent friend's spiritual pressure, which wasn't very difficult considering that Ichigo was never good with controlling the immense spirit energy that kept pouring out if him.

"Chappy, stay here and wait for us!" she ordered as the gikongon popped its head from behind the tree, holding up Ichigo's empty vessel. Once it gave her a salute confirming her she had a lock on him, Rukia took off after him, ignoring her aching body combined with the many unanswered questions that buzzed in her skull.

* * *

Stumbling at the end of his flashstepped, Ichigo used his free hand to reach for a tree on his left. Panting heavily, he propped his back up against the trunk and proceeded to collapse to the ground, waiting for his heart to stop pounding.

'Damn it,' he thought bitterly as he rubbed his face to in an effort to make his teeth stop aching, 'I almost lost it back there; I could've killed Rukia. Now, I'm definitely gonna need to tell her about this vampire thing. I just have to make sure that I can avoid Rukia until I'm able to put these urges back under control.'

"Hold it right there, Ichigo!"

'There's no way my luck is that bad.' However, fate just enjoyed proving him wrong because Rukia appeared before him, her arm still slightly bleeding and her face had a look that shouted, "I'm gonna chew you out!" 'Damn it.'

"No more games, no more running, and no more lying, Ichigo!" With what little patience she still held crumbling, Rukia was in no mood for any games or stories; if he didn't start giving real answers, she'd punish him in ways that a Nazi would think was horrifying. "I want you to tell me what secret you're keeping and I won't leave until I have the truth!"

Unknown to Rukia, Ichigo's heart had resumed its throbbing against his ribcage in earnest with her arrival, fangs lusting for blood in a drying mouth. His instincts were going haywire and dominating his restraint, his fingers twitching like mad as his mind struggled desperately to stop himself from hurting her. However, it only lasted for a few seconds after she stopped demanding an explanation before he snapped.

Quicker than Rukia's eyes could follow, he'd gotten close enough to use Tensa Zangetsu to knock Sode no Shirayuki out of Rukia's hand, startling her enough to for him to grab onto her and push her up against his tree. "Ichigo, what the hell are you-" However, she lost her voice when she got a good look at her friend/secret love.

Ichigo had an iron grip on her shoulders as he lifted his head, showing the face of an Ichigo she never saw before. His mouth was open as he panted heavily, a little saliva slipping down the corner of his mouth. His upper lip was pulled back which showed the pair of fangs that she miraculously never saw. His tongue rolled out to drag across those lips as those he was about to bite into a delicious treat, which was probably gonna happen in a few moments.

But it was his eyes that actually scared her. They weren't his usual golden-brown eyes which were hard but promised warmth and protection. And from her experience with seeing him when he put on his hollow mask, the eyes' sclera became all black and the iris turned an eerie yellow. But however frightening those warped hollow eyes were, she actually wished for those eyes than what she was seeing now.

The pupils were bleeding outward across the entire surface of the eyes, vein-like tendrils of black spreading over the irises and consuming the sclera until she was staring into twin pools of dark nothingness, devoid of anything other than bestial hunger.

"I told you to run, Rukia," he said, struggling to keep himself together for a little longer, "I attacked you to make you leave me because I'd rather be dead than hurt you. But now, it's too late. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you from myself." Then, Rukia was surprised to see his handsome face contort into an expression of deep sorrow, a solitary tear forming in the corner of his right eye before it trailed down along the side of his nose.

With nothing left to say, Ichigo dragged Rukia towards him and sank his fangs into her creamy throat, guzzling down and swallowing hard even before Rukia's liquid life slammed into his tongue. The sensation made his world spin so much that he leaned on his friend-turned-victim for stability, the strain placed upon her back snapping Rukia back to what was happening around her. Immediately she began to push against his chest to separate them, forcing herself to continue as it appeared as though her struggling didn't deter him from continuing to consume her body's liquid.

"Ichigo, you have to snap out of it," she cried, her vision swimming in and out of focus. "Come on, you fool; you're stronger than this so WAKE UP!" On a desperate swing, her fist pulled back and slammed into the carrot-topped vampire's own throat, forcing him to quickly detach himself, coughing and sputtering blood as Rukia, hands pressed firmly over the fresh wound, shuffled behind the tree and out of his reach before she started to use kido to heal her neck.

Shaking his head, Ichigo started getting his breath under control and clearing his mind of the haze of bloodlust. When he looked over at Rukia, she was filled with relief to see that his eyes had resumed their natural hazel coloring…which was quashed when she saw what was in their depths: shame, disgust, self-loathing, heart breaking despair; the very sight of him so broken made her flinch. He began trembling as he brought a hand to his mouth and wiped off the blood that stained his lips before looking down at it more closely. Raising his gaze back to connect with her's, Rukia was able to deduce what was going through the mind of the Substitute Soul Reaper and she needed to stop him now before it was too late!

"Ichigo, wait!" But her words fell on deaf ears as he turned away and scooped up Tensa Zangetsu before he started flash stepping away from sight. Moving as fast as she could without keeling over, Rukia picked up her zanpakuto and preceded after her love as the sky began to darken and matched the dread in her heart. 'Please Ichigo, I can't lose you now. I have to tell you how I feel; just hold on a little longer for me!'

* * *

Speeding blindly through the canopy of trees, Ichigo made a great effort to put as much distance between himself and Rukia as he could when he stumbled and fell to the ground, groaning as the sky above rumbled as if sharing his mood.

'I-I can't believe that I lost control like that,' he thought miserably as the first raindrop landed upon his cheek, making the tear which he couldn't. 'Rukia…I hurt her, I might've even killed her if she hadn't stopped me.' When he came back to his senses, he could still taste Rukia's blood on his tongue even as he was coughing it back up. Looking over at her, he clearly saw how she flinched away from him and had put distance between them. The emotion he saw in her eyes as she looked at him -as if even looking at him was too painful for her- it broke his heart that she had to suffer by his hands.

But as heart-breaking as seeing Rukia was to him, that wasn't the worst of it. No, the most horrifying thing about this experience was that he _broke down_! After putting so much effort into controlling himself, all it took was one hollow ambush to weaken his fortitude and he ended up attacking one of his closest friends and loved ones with all the abandon of a starving wild dog. And since it's already happened, who's to say that this won't happen again? Even now, the aftertaste of Rukia's blood still lingered as an unwanted yet tantalizing reminder that things could never go back to the way they were. Even now, the coppery tang of her blood filled him completely.

Blinking his eyes at the tiny smack of something hitting his cheek, Ichigo brought his free hand up to his face to dap at the spot with his fingertips. Pulling back to observe the offending substance, Ichigo observed that it was water…which was soon joined by another droplet on his palm. Looking up at the sky, he found his cheeks were quickly assaulted by a few more raindrops before it started to pick up speed and the area was quickly becoming soaked. 'Right on cue,' he thought sullenly as his spiky orange locks transitioned to a matted-down, tangelo mess. 'It's like the rain just waits for me to crash so that it can drop a downer bomb on me.'

He was certain that if Rukia did come after him (and with a stubborn streak bigger than her whole body he knew she would), he was bound to get a lecture about how he had to face this new adversity head-on and that his friends would always back him up no matter what. After all, she had used variations of that pep talk when he had gotten downtrodden because of his Inner Hollow and when he failed to stop Grimmjow from nearly killing her when he stabbed her with his bare hands.

The problem was that this time, it wasn't some phantasm lurking in his soul and trying to take over his body; nor was it a matter of him losing his confidence over whether or not he could protect people. This was something in his blood; a phenomenon of his own genetic code which had turned him into a beast, which made him hunt Rukia, and would continue to make him harm her and God knows how many others. As long as he was alive, _he_ was a greater threat to everyone he loves than anything that attacked Karakura Town.

His eyes widened in realization as the storm rumbled in the frustration he was drowning in. "As long as I'm alive…" he murmured in a daze as he shifted his line of sight down to the slim, midnight-colored bankai form of Zangetsu in his hand. If the source of concern was him being alive, then the way to remove that concern was for him to die. He knew his thoughts were going in a dangerous direction; up until now, he had always considered suicide to be a cowardly way to die and he started to rescind from the idea...

But then his mind wandered to his family: Yuzu's motherly warmth and innocence, Karin's sarcastic remarks covering her love for those she's close to, even his father's rambunctious antics that held an undertone of affection. He thought of his friends at school, both normal and with powers who had stood by him through some of the craziest crap imaginable. Then, he realized what kind of pressure this would put on his comrades in the Soul Society if and when news of this reached them. They would be torn between doing their duty and their loyalty to him; it might even cause them to get into trouble themselves.

Finally he thought of Rukia, the one who had changed his world and destiny, his…what was their relationship? Friends? Family? In love? Barely tolerant? Well whatever they were, she was important to him and hurting her the way he had, both by his fangs and by not trusting her with the truth, he realized that he wouldn't forgive himself should he have to put her through such strife again.

"I'm sorry everyone," Ichigo spoke aloud, raising his zanpakuto to eye level, rain water dribbling down the blade to the hilt. "I know that you're all probably gonna be disappointed in me for doing this. But I won't let anyone else be hurt because of me. Goodbye." With his resolution set, Ichigo turned the tip of the sword towards his exposed throat as he let his eyes drift closed.

Had he kept them open, he probably would've been able to avoid the incoming kick to his jaw. But he didn't, so he ended up on his back blinking dazedly up a royally enraged Rukia Kuchiki, standing over him panting heavily.

"Rukia-"

"YOU SELFISH BASTARD! ! !" The next blow was to his solar plexus, taking the wind out of him as he spoke.

"How **DARE** you think of doing that, you idiot! Of all the self-centered, cowardly, moronic actions to take— Do you just look for ways to top yourself on being crazy, you developmentally stunted, detached, kerned…" Soon, Rukia's angry tirade became a string of unintelligible syllables as she continued to physically abuse his laying form. He didn't move to try to defend himself against the onslaught, understanding the outrage and betrayal that Rukia was experiencing at what she saw him about to do and feeling that the agony in his heart was so enveloping was that it dulled any physical pain she inflicted upon him. Unable to keep track of time, he had no idea how long it was before her voice and body exhausted themselves enough for her to stop. Trying to catch her breath in her sore throat, she dropped to her knees beside his still form. Above them, thunder rumbled as the silence of the storm fell around them. Finally, Ichigo got up the will to roll his head to look at his kneeling companion and speak for the first time since she found him.

"Is that it? That's all you have to say to me?" As he anticipated, Rukia caught her second wind upon hearing this. Grabbing the front of his shihakusho with both hands, she forced his upper body off the wet grass until he was in a sitting position and their eyes linked: burning violet meeting dulling amber.

"Oh, that was for being an idiot and running away so you could try to kill yourself," she growled. "I haven't even _begun_ to tear you out for lying to me all this time and making me have to worry about what you were keeping from me." Now that the anger caused by the shock of seeing Ichigo about to use his zanpakuto as the instrument of his self-inflicted demise had faded, she was left with the frustration made by knowing that he had left her in the dark. "Now tell me what has happened to you, Ichigo. And this time, I want the truth!" Her tone left neither room nor tolerance for argument, so Ichigo took a deep sigh before beginning to bring her into the loop.

"Awhile back, I found out that I am a vampire, a being that needs to consume blood to function normally," he started, turning away from her gaze as though it was painful to look at her. "I went to Kisuke to learn more about how to learn more about managing this better, and he's been working on a blood-substitute for me." Hearing this new information, Rukia's ire lessened a little as she took it in. Extracting a hand from the cloth to cradle his jawline, she gently forced him to resume looking into her eyes.

"So the change in your diet…that was what you were taking until he could make the blood-substitute?" He just nodded, the scowl that was trademark to his face now seeming misshapen by grief-ridden guilt. "And this is also why have you been dodging me?" Hearing this question, she could see him wince and painfully before answering in a shaky breath.

"I…I don't know why Rukia, but your blood is-is just so damn alluring to me that being near you all the time since this started has been an exercise of my willpower not to attack you." Rukia had to hold strong as it became clearer that he was becoming more vulnerable about this. "I was able to hold for as long as I could, but Kisuke had warned me that fighting hollows would make things harder on keeping my bloodlust in check. So when I caved back there and bit you, I realized that if it happened once it could happen again with someone else and then it might result in them dying."

"So you decided to take your own life and spare your future victims?" Rukia had completed his story with this question, but Ichigo could tell from how she had said it that she wasn't finished by any stretch of the imagination. "And what? Did you think that I would _happy_ knowing that you had taken your own life because of what you did to me? Or maybe that I'd be _proud_ of you, for trying to be an honorable Soul Reaper by thinking of the future? Bull!"

Looking into her eyes, he could see past the Kuchiki glare into the hurt Rukia was really feeling about how he kept her at arm's length while he was going through this. "I could have helped you, Ichigo," she said, her voice dropping the commanding tone to show her bruised heart as the wet strand of dark hair between her eyes stuck to her pale skin. "Maybe not with figuring out how your condition works or making the blood-substitute, but maybe if I knew what I was doing to you I could have gone to the Soul Society until you were feeling better. So why you didn't tell me about this to begin with?"

Saying this question wasn't easy for Rukia to say aloud as it ironically showed the vulnerability she was used to keeping people from seeing. So she was surprised to hear Ichigo actually let out a scoffing laugh, so much so that she let her other hand fall from his shihakusho. "Because I know better than that, Rukia," he chuckled. " I know that barring a direct order from your brother, the last thing that you would have done knowing that one of your friends had a problem would have been running away. More than likely, if I had told you all of this from the start, you would have shoved your arm into my mouth and ordered me to drink your blood; and you would not budge until you got your way in the matter." Even as she heard him, she couldn't deny that that sounded like something she would do.

"Doesn't matter now, though," Ichigo stated, cutting into thoughts as he looked back at the ground. "The point is that I've hurt you now and there's no guarantee that I won't happen again."

"Wah-hah! Boo hoo hoo! The Strawberry vampire bit me," Rukia cried, pretending to wipe away tears from her eyes before pulling down her collar to point out the new scars on her neck. "Look, I've already healed it, and I'll keep healing any more that you need make so there's no chance of you trying to use this to validate taking your own life!"

"That's not what I'm doing at all!" This to Rukia was good news. Ichigo was starting to get his temper back which was better than having the melancholy Ichigo she had found; that Ichigo wasn't her Ichigo. "I have always worked to protect the people that I love from anything that can hurt them. The only thing that's changed is that the thing that can hurt them is ME!"

Whether the lighting that flashed above them at that moment was simply coincidence or a resonance of the act itself was unclear, but the sound of Rukia slapping Ichigo across the face was more terrifying than the thunder which followed. Looking back at her, Ichigo could see her eyes growing wetter and it wasn't from the rain.

"Don't you dare say that again Ichigo Kurosaki," Rukia ordered, her voice falling to a whisper. "Don't you dare call yourself a 'thing,' like you're less than human! Because that's MY Ichigo that you're demeaning." Hearing the emphasis on the word 'my' caught Ichigo's attention, but he didn't have time to ponder on it for long as her voice stared to pick up.

"Say that I had come too late to stop you; that you had succeeded in taking your own life. I would have broken seeing you dead and knowing that not only I could've been able to stop you, but that you were dead because of me. Even worse, I would be the one to put your dead soul back to your body and watch your family fall apart as it died with you. Your sisters would never recover knowing that they had lost another important piece of their family at a young age; your father's heart would be laden with guilt as he felt that he had let both you and your mother down. All of our friends who have stood by you, leaning on you for support falling down. So you know what? You're right, you can become the next source of pain for all those who love you, but only if you allow yourself to weaken and be taken away from them!"

It should have done the trick, at least judging from the track record of getting Ichigo to snap out of his low points of self-doubt. She had been able to do this for him since the Arrancars first came and he had come to doubt his strength. But then, true to Ichigo form, he did something that completely threw her understanding about him. Slowly, he turned his head to look her hard in the eye and then, slowly and clearly, he said to her the last thing that she thought she'd ever hear come from his lips. Perhaps the worst part was that he had said it with a calm even tone, rather than by getting in her face and screaming at her.

"Didn't you think that that's how _we_ felt about _you_ when we were all trying to stop your execution?"

Rukia's eyes couldn't get wider after hearing this if she had been an owl. All at once, her memories of that dark time came flooding in on her: being trapped in the tower and having to strain to get a vague feeling about what was happening outside, feeling helpless to stop the group comprised of the friends she had made in the World of the Living and the Soul Society from being brought to harm, hoping against hope that once the execution was over, then things would be set right. What hurt her to hear Ichigo say this to her was that she knew he had a point in that the whole time, she had never considered that they might be doing this because they wanted her safe. The rain seemed to start coming down harder with these words.

"That's not the same thing Ichigo," she stated simply, looking away from him in an effort to deflect. This proved to be a mistake as it showed him the weak link in her armor that he could dig into and get at what was underneath.

"Why not?" Ichigo's newfound discovery of her weakness gave him the energy to get to his feet, towering over her as he pressed for an answer. "Is it because you felt that you deserved to die because of what you did to me while I felt I deserved death because of what I did you? Didn't you feel trapped in the goddamn tower the way I feel trapped with having vampire DNA? Or maybe it's because you got an audience to watch you die instead of trying to give you comfort while I was going to just doing it alone?"

"Exactly, you idiot!" Rukia couldn't take anymore and joined Ichigo in standing, her anger stoked back to an uproar. "You were going to die ALONE! I was taught that you must never die alone, so that you can give your heart to someone before you leave this life! You would have had NO ONE to give your heart to if you had killed yourself and what's worse, you actually believe that you were making a good choice doing so!"

"Oh, and who did you have to choose from in the spectators who showed to see you die to give your heart to? BYAKUYA? Did he even look at you when you were up there about to be engulfed in flames?!" They both fell silent, glaring heatedly at each other so fiercely they no longer noticed the rain coming down on them or that their faces were closer to each other than before. Finally Ichigo backed down, turning away to look at the newly soaked ground. Rukia was feeling confident that she had gotten through to him until he started speaking softly to her.

"Do you want to know what the worst memory was for me when you were brought back to the Soul Society?" This question made Rukia pause. Ichigo wasn't someone who willingly talked about his feelings in general, let alone about so big that had happened. "It wasn't when we all got separated crashing through the Seireitei barrier to get in, or having to face off against tough opponents like Kenpachi, Byakuya, or Aizen to make sure you were safe, or even having to feel when our friends were close to dying and feeling that I could do nothing to help them… it was when you called me a 'lowly human'."

For the moment after hearing this, Rukia felt her heart clench in her chest. When her brother Byakuya and her oldest friend Renji had come to take her back to the Soul Society to be judged for giving Ichigo her powers, he had tried to stop them from taking her and was brought to the brink of death for it. Even when he was on the ground bleeding, he still managed to grab Byakuya's hakama to try and stop him. She knew that her brother would not have stopped until Ichigo was undeniably dead so she acted cold-hearted to try and get Byakuya to leave her then-charge alone. So when he turned back to look at her, she understood just how much that her words had hurt him.

"Yeah, I get that Byakuya woulda killed me if you didn't do it," he continued, the weight of his words dragging her heart down further. "But that's not the point. The point is that we had spent all that time together- teaching each other about the new roles we were in, fighting against all those hollows, slowly becoming friends- and in the end, even if you didn't mean them, the fact that you could say those words to me cut through me worse than Renji or Byakuya did. When I came to later, the feeling I had wasn't doubt about my skills; I had already been beaten… what I doubted was you. You made me doubt how much I was really worth to you. So how am I supposed to believe that despite this new danger I present to everyone, the value my life has is so great when the person who tells me so not only doesn't seem to understand how much she means to others let alone how much she means to me, but who has already shown me that I can mean so little to her?"

Try as she might, there was nothing that Rukia could think of to counter that kind of defeatist logic. She understood that he had reached that emotionally low point where simply trying to get him to snap back to his usual stubborn self with wouldn't work now. If she didn't try something else to get through to him, she was going to lose the young man who she had fallen in love with, quite possibly for good. With that thought, she gained an insight as to what she needed to do in order to convince him; the catch was that if it failed, she would not only lose him, she would lose her heart as well.

Reaching out with both hands to gently hold his face, she brought him down to press a kiss onto his lips. It was a simple kiss, yet in it she willed him to feel all the love that she held for him. Ichigo for his part was surprised by Rukia's bold action, though it couldn't be said that he wasn't enjoying it. Figuring that trying to figure out Rukia's motive for doing this was only gonna end badly for him, he just stopped thinking and started kissing her back. After a minute, she pulled back to look him in the eyes, noting that the rain around them had started to lighten up.

"The worst memory for me was dreading that you, Orihime, Chad, Uryu, Renji, and everyone else who had come to save me would all be killed and my heart would start to break knowing that it would be all my fault," she said calmly, gently stroking his cheek with her fingertips. "Now I know that the worst thing that could happen is that I could lose you without telling you that I love you. Each time you would go out to fight some powerful new enemy, a part of me would say, 'This could be it. This could be the fight which takes him away.' And every time you would come back to me, I always felt so happy that that part of me was wrong." Slowly, she dragged her hands to rest on top of his heart. "So from the bottom of my heart Ichigo, I want you to know that I love you and I will always love you." At this point, her eyes started to overflow with her tears. "I only ask that you promise me that the part of me that always doubts your homecoming will always be wrong."

Seeing the look in her eyes, Ichigo could clearly tell that she was being as open with him as he had been with her as well as how much she needed to hear his next words. The problem was that it couldn't just be a matter of assaying the words, but showing that he meant the intent behind them. Grasping her shoulders, he surprised her by mimicking her previous actions by ambushing her with his own kiss. It was shorter than hers had been, but filled with the kind of intense warmth that she had come to associate with her Ichigo. When he pulled back, Rukia felt her heart swell in joy and relief to see that he had regained the strength in his eyes and was sporting that devilish smirk.

"I love you too and I promise that you're always going to be wrong." She smiled back at him at hearing those words, choosing not to spoil the moment by focusing on how he had worded that last sentence. Glad to have Ichigo back to himself and that he had returned her feelings, she leaned back in to meet him halfway for their third kiss in as many minutes. They both knew that the issue of his newly discovered vampire status still needed to be resolved and that they would have to remain vigilant to make sure that this kind of painful event could not happen again. But for now, as the rain around them finally ceased as they continued their kiss, the knowledge of Ichigo hungering for Rukia's blood was of little consequence when compared to the knowledge that what they both wanted more from each other was their hearts.

* * *

_**Wow; 20 pages, nearly 11,000 words! Also, I apologize if it seemed like Rukia and Ichigo were OOC, but I had tried to capture how their emotional states would be if they had to face this kind of situation. Please review as able.**_

_**-**_**TwinShadows**


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